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Feeling out of Control? It’s Not (Not) Your Fault

Feeling out of Control? It’s Not (Not) Your Fault

damelove, gincabron Controla (2020)

The song “Controla” by the Swiss duo damelove feat. gincabron blends musical elements of reggaeton with a melancholic touch, which can be labeled as sad-boy reggaeton. And if my rusty Spanish doesn’t deceive me, the song explores the dynamics of control and letting go in interpersonal relationships, a theme deeply rooted in human psychology. 

So, please, lay down on my couch: 

The illusion of control is a fascinating psychological phenomenon in which people believe they have more influence over a situation than they actually do. The term was coined in 1975 by psychologist Ellen Langer. A classic example is casting dice: many people throw dice harder or more gently when they want to achieve a specific number, even though the outcome is purely random. Why? A sense of control provides us (more precisely: our brain) with security—even if it is merely an illusion.

But what happens when this sense of control fades? Loss of control amplifies emotions and often triggers more intense reactions. When people feel that control is slipping away, they frequently respond with stress or anxiety. In interpersonal relationships, too, loss of control leads to strong emotions: When someone realizes they cannot influence their partner, they often react with insecurity or jealousy. 

Well, I guess we are in a pickle here: Our brain needs control, yet we cannot control our brains 🧠👋 But let’s not dwell on that… and maybe just let this song take over your day!

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